Friday, May 24, 2013

In my defense, Your Honor

We have defense mechanisms for a reason. 

I get you…I get all of you out there coping with situations you can’t “Fix”.  I’m a fixer too, I even have an advanced degree in it…and yet those years of experience and education won’t make my heart stop racing when I have to cope with things on a personal level.  Hurt is hurt.

When I can’t wrap my rational mind around something, when I can’t make it go away with reason or assurance, when I can’t “draw” it away with cards, I often turn to yet another coping mechanism, intellectualizing. Big word, simple meaning:

Intellectualizing protects against anxiety by repressing the emotions connected with an event.

So here I am, someone I love is suffering from a delusional disorder, it used to be called paranoid disorder, or in simple terms is the inability to tell what is real from what is imagined.  No matter what it is called, the main feature is the presence of unshakable beliefs in something untrue.  Most times these folks can continue to socialize and function normally, apart from the subject of their delusion, which they tend to go after with abandon.  

At any rate, it makes life…difficult…and sometimes, well most times, extremely stressful…which lead me to sit down and study it like I was in grad school.  Does intellectualizing work?  Well, for me, it's like a warm compress on a sore muscle, feels good for a bit, but after while, the towel cools and then you are right back where you started. 

A strange post for the Book of Lurlene but we are all out here…using whatever it takes  to get go easy on your monsters.

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