In my defense, Your Honor

We have defense mechanisms for a reason. 

I get you…I get all of you out there coping with situations you can’t “Fix”.  I’m a fixer too, I even have an advanced degree in it…and yet those years of experience and education won’t make my heart stop racing when I have to cope with things on a personal level.  Hurt is hurt.

When I can’t wrap my rational mind around something, when I can’t make it go away with reason or assurance, when I can’t “draw” it away with cards, I often turn to yet another coping mechanism, intellectualizing. Big word, simple meaning:

Intellectualizing protects against anxiety by repressing the emotions connected with an event.

So here I am, someone I love is suffering from a delusional disorder, it used to be called paranoid disorder, or in simple terms is the inability to tell what is real from what is imagined.  No matter what it is called, the main feature is the presence of unshakable beliefs in something untrue.  Most times these folks can continue to socialize and function normally, apart from the subject of their delusion, which they tend to go after with abandon.  


At any rate, it makes life…difficult…and sometimes, well most times, extremely stressful…which lead me to sit down and study it like I was in grad school.  Does intellectualizing work?  Well, for me, it's like a warm compress on a sore muscle, feels good for a bit, but after while, the towel cools and then you are right back where you started. 


A strange post for the Book of Lurlene but we are all out here…using whatever it takes  to get by...so go easy on your monsters.

There's an App for that

I use my i-thing for almost nothing...I dreamed I would be more productive, but it didn't work out that way.
It's my bubble gum, my mindless wandering tool. I tried playing solitaire, but all the games seem to want you to be competitive - even if against yourself. Please...those days are long gone.

I did, however, find this little magnet poetry App. Its free...and it gave me another outlet to play with words. You can only write with the select few they give you...so I have surprised my poetic self time and time again.
 Here's today's...Lazy Lurlene

My Un-doin'

Question: When do you just let stuff go...and when to you look it in the eye and say, "Enough already". 
What if there is actual stuff that NEEDS to be heard, known, and said? 

Beleive it or not, I am not a confrontational sort.  I'm sassy and truth be told I like the last word, but I don't ever crawl up in your face to have it.  More often than not I take it as I mumble off into my corner wonderin' what in the heck you've been dippin into. 

Most time I just "let it go" and after a good bit of seething and some premium carbs I can just chalk things up to folks own "personal problems" and move on.

But lately, I'm findin that that two step solution isn't workin' for me anymore.   Maybe I'm havin' an indignant moment but is it wrong to every now and then to expect an honest to goodness apology? 

The Recoil or ...mgvg = -mbvb

I’ve been working on this card for a couple of days, trying to capture the simple physics of the recoil.

Now and again there are things that just defy the laws of physics, especially when self preservation is involved.

Early on I learned that there are folks out there that are far more driven than I will ever be, folks who want to win more than I ever will. 

My Daddy had a sayin', " I may not always be right, but I am never wrong".  That was his truth, and there was no changin' it. 

Backin’ away isn’t always a bad thing.

I think we all choose our battles. 

Fur-Babies

Folks often ask me if I had...have...children and I always answer, "No, but we're still trying". 
That usually puts an end to that question and leave'um fumblin' around for another string to bat at.   I get a kick out of it really.

But on this day...set aside to honor the Mother in us all, I tip my hat to all who poured their heart and soul into raisin' kids.  To be honest...I'm not sure I ever had the courage. 

So to my kids...my Fur-babies:  BooBoo 1-5, Switch Tail, Sammy, Blanca, Tiki, Traveler, Angel, Missy, Elvira, Tallulah Jean-Queen of Mean, Cossie-Moto-Floto-Zoto...and His royal Catness, Busser Bacci Biscotti- All Bob-Boy-Cat Shipman, thank you for teaching me be basics of lovin' and loosin' and lettin' go.

I think...
and lately thinking has gotten me into a wee bit-o-trouble, that when something happens...for no logical or rational reason...it happens because there is no other way for something else to emerge as a result. Does that make sense? I'm sure you have some spilt milk stories and AhhhhHaaaa moments you can relate to. At any rate happy hour is only 15 minutes away and today I'm pretty darn happy about that!

Things Change

"I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions, but laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors."

--- Thomas Jefferson
 
I print this card often...as a reminder....and then I found this quote by someone who is actually respected. (Not that Lurlene is not..but you know)